Proverbs 18:19
"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle."
I recently went through a situation with a Christian brother that involved great offense. The reality of this scripture became so clear to me as I tried to straighten out the misunderstanding. It's very interesting how strong an offense can be in a person's life; so strong that it won't listen to good common sense.
The story does not have a good ending. He left still mad at me and others within the church, unwilling to work together as brothers and sisters in Christ should. This is a situation that plays out everyday somewhere in the world between members of the Body of Christ. Brothers and sisters, this should not be.
There are what I call Divine set-ups that take place in the lives of Christians. These are occasions where the Lord is trying to get something to you and He's leading and guiding you to reach that end. The Lord blesses His children. Therefore, a Divine set-up will never be something that steals, kills or destroys. It will never involve sinful activity, just obedience on the part of the child of God and the blessing of the Lord that follows.
On the other hand, there are also set-ups initiated by the devil. These are the carefully orchestrated events that lead up to a bad event with terrible consequences. Strife and offense are two of the enemy's favorite tools against the Christian. Have you ever noticed how the devil will attack in an area that you sense the Lord wanting you to grow within?
For instance, you make a decision that you'll walk in love no matter what comes your way. The moment you take that step it seems like every nasty person is sent across your path. It happens in the car, at the grocery store, at work or wherever you happen to be. The ploy of the devil is to discourage you so much that you let go of the decision to be loving and thereby the revelation of the Word that went alongside that decision.
The Greek word used for "offense" in the scriptures is very enlightening. The word is "skandalon" and it's meaning is as follows: "a trapstick, (bent sapling) i.e., a snare." Literally, this word means the "trigger on a trap." When an opportunity to get offended comes your way, it is literally a trap set for you by the devil himself.
II Timothy 2:24-26
"And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."
Notice the wording used in verse 26: ". . . out of the snare of the devil . . ." I find it to be such an eye-opening revelation for any Christian who really wants to serve God. Stay out of the traps that the devil lays out for you. In other words, stay out of strife and offense! "But Pastor Dan, you don't know what they said to me!" No, and I really don't care! All that matters is that you not touch that trigger on the trap. If you do you will be taken captive by the devil and the offense was the bait to hold you bound.
Unforgiveness will stop your faith in it's tracks! Faith works by love (Galatians 5:6) and if you don't forgive neither will your Father in heaven forgive you! (Mark 11:26) I'm sure you're just like me in the fact that you don't want to be in a position where the Lord will not forgive you!
The sad thing about offense is that once a person bites on the bait they are caught in the trap. Once caught, it is a painful experience for that individual. This explains why people that are offended react so negatively to sound counsel! They're caught in a trap, and they're in pain. Every move they attempt in their life is challenged by the pain of the trap. The only way out is to recognize what has happened (literally "wake up" in the Greek) and ask forgiveness of the Lord and of the individual that they've held the grudge against.
Once this is done that person can go on and live a victorious life in Jesus. Notice it said in II Timothy 2:26, that they would recover themselves out of the snare. That is important because until a person sees for himself the situation through the eyes of scripture, they'll never change. Granted, you may have to intercede on their behalf, commanding the devil to take the blindfolds from their eyes that they may see the truth of the Word. (II Corinthians 4:4) Ultimately, the individual must ask forgiveness for taking offense, even if the other party involved was wrong.
Another important fact about this scenario is that it's dealing with Christians. "And the servant of the Lord must not strive . . . " (II Timothy 2:24) This only applies to the Christian who has fallen prey to offense.
So make the decision today, that no matter what comes your way, you'll not become offended. Recognize it as the trap that it is, then avoid it at all costs. Pray for the individual that was used to set the trap, but don't touch that trigger!
by Pastor Dan Yankunas